The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
