Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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