is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize