cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
