i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
