Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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