is your mom at the bar?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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