Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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