Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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