Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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