boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
