I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
