Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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