all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
did i walk over a car last night?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
