i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize