Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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