I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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