hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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