There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
