Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
