Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize