Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
