1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
