You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
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We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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