He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Found the puke drawer
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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