I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
