Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Plan B is the new Plan A
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize