Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.