I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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