My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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