I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize