Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
