well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
