Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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