I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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