Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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