I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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