You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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