i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
