I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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