dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?