he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.