i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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