it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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