I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
