O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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