Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
