doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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