we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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