i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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