Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
