id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
