and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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