Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
