He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it's great music for shaving your balls
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
