I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
