oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
