im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
