Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
